


Look What I Have Waiting For Me

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst in general, Edom Angst, I cried when writing this, I'm Sorry, M/M, Malec Trailer for season 3, Season 3 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 07:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13806861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Magnus’ eyes welled up with tears as he kept looking at Alec’s face, his eyes flickering up and down the hunter’s face, wanting to remember every single thing. He wanted to burn Alec’s face into his memory. His eyes stopped on Alec’s hazel ones in the end, thumb gently caressing the other’s cheek and Magnus had to take in a deep breath to get rid of the knife that was being repeatedly stabbed into his chest. “Look what I have waiting for me,” he then stammered, but kept the cheerful expression despite the pain in his heart.(Based on the Malec trailer for season 3).





	Look What I Have Waiting For Me

**Author's Note:**

> So this was inspired by the Malec trailer for season 3. And I cried when I was writing this, so I'm already dreading the angst that is approaching us. Season 3 will leave all of us dead, ya'll. But at the same time, I can't wait...
> 
> I hope you'll like this.
> 
> I promise to write something fluffier next time xD

''You're gonna make it back,'' breathed out Alec, his voice sounding like a plead, because that was exactly what it was. There was the man that he loved more than he loved himself saying his goodbyes to him as he was getting ready to enter Edom, hell. The place from which, much to Alec’s knowledge, no one had ever returned from before and it felt like his lungs were running out of air when Magnus gave him a little smile and reached up with his hand to cradle his face and Alec barely restrained himself from breaking down in front of Magnus.

“Why wouldn’t I?” asked Magnus, keeping his voice cheerful, because he didn’t want Alec to worry too much. Truth be told, he wasn’t so sure if he was returning back, but he wasn’t about to tell that to Alexander. No, never. Magnus was terrified to be paying his father, Asmodeus, a visit, but it needed to be done. Lilith needed to be defeated at all cost and they needed all the help they could get, given the connection that Magnus shared with Asmodeus their best bet to win the war. However, as much as Magnus wanted to save the world, he didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t let that show on his face. Instead, his smile widened and it hurt. Hurt lying to Alec like that, but what else could he do?

Magnus’ eyes welled up with tears as he kept looking at Alec’s face, his eyes flickering up and down the hunter’s face, wanting to remember every single thing. He wanted to burn Alec’s face into his memory. His eyes stopped on Alec’s hazel ones in the end, thumb gently caressing the other’s cheek and Magnus had to take in a deep breath to get rid of the knife that was being repeatedly stabbed into his chest. “Look what I have waiting for me,” he then stammered, but kept the cheerful expression despite the pain in his heart.

Alec saw the tears in Magnus’ eyes, there were tears gathering in his eyes as well, but he decided to be strong. He needed to be strong. For Magnus, he decided, he needed to show that he would be able to handle things without the other one around despite the chaos that was going around. But in reality, he was already a mess, just the thought of Magnus leaving made his world crumble apart. In the end, Alec was able to muster up a little smile, which faded away as soon as Magnus looked down for a split second and Alec saw Magnus’ lower lip trembling. Magnus was afraid, Alec could feel it. But he didn’t know what to do.

“I’ll be waiting for you,” whispered Alec, his own hands now hugging Magnus’ face and he licked his lower lip, forcing more words to come out of his mouth. “I, um, I’ll be the first one in line when you come back. I promise,” said Alec, trying to keep his voice cheerful as well and Magnus forced out a little chuckle and nodded.

“You better be waiting for me, Alexander. Because if you won’t be the first person that I see, then I’ll kick your ass,” joked Magnus, but his tone fell flat. Magnus knew that he needed to get away, because the longer he stayed with Alec like that, the harder it was going to be for him to actually leave. “Well,” said Magnus, his voice slightly trembling and Alec’s eyes widened when Magnus made a step back. “I better get going now,” said the warlock and before Alec could say something more formed a portal, which was going to take him straight to Edom. “My dear, Alexander,” he then said and Alec felt his throat squeezing when he saw the portal. “I love you,” he then added and turned around, walking towards the portal.

And Alec just stood there, unable to move. He couldn’t even say that he loved Magnus back. He was completely numb, but just before Magnus was able to disappear into the portal, Alec finally snapped, ran after Magnus and grabbed him by his hand. That took Magnus by surprise and the portal was gone as soon as Alec turned him around and pulled him into a tight hug. “Magnus,” said Alec and tears wet his face when his arms were wrapped around the warlock, pulling him into a tight, almost crushing hug and Magnus’ eyes widened when he felt something wet against his neck as Alec buried his face into the crook of his neck.

Magnus couldn’t help himself and he wrapped his own strong arms around Alec protectively, looking up at the ceiling, blinking fast as he didn’t want the tears to fall. The heaviness in his chest was unbearable when Alec let out a loud sob and his body started shaking, little sniffles filling Magnus’ ears. “Alexander, don’t,” said Magnus, pleading Alec to stop, because he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to break down in front of the hunter. “I can’t do this… just let me go. I’m begging you.”

“No,” croaked Alec and shook his head. “Please let me come with you,” begged him Alec and Magnus sighed.

“We’ve already discussed this, Alexander. You’re needed here. You’re the Head of the Institute, you can’t just leave,” said Magnus, trying to keep his way of thinking rational and clear, because deep inside, he didn’t want to go alone. But then again, he didn’t want Alec coming with him, he didn’t want to put Alec into such danger. “People need you here, you need to protect-”

“How am I supposed to do that when I know there’s a big chance that you won’t come back?” blurted out Alec and pulled back, deadly silence falling between them. There it was, Alec finally said it out loud; there was a big possibility that Magnus wouldn’t make it back. Magnus had to look down at that moment, because things got too overwhelming for him too and as he blinked, tears wetted his entire face.

Magnus placed his hands on top of Alec’s shoulders and gripped them lightly, his fingers trembling like crazy, but in the end, he nodded. “I know,” said Magnus, still looking down. “But I’ll come back,” he said, reassuring Alec that things were going to be okay. “Like you said, we always find a way back to each other,” said Magnus and slowly looked up, trails of fresh tears still visible on his cheeks and he did nothing to stop them from running again.

“Magnus,” breathed out Alec and pressed his forehead against Magnus’, gently holding him by the back of his neck, his own fingers trembling and he was nervous as hell. Afraid. Terrified. “I’m afraid,” confessed Alec. “Not of Lilith and the chaos she caused, because I know that we’ll be able to handle that… but, what scares me the most is the possibility of losing you. By the Angel, I’ve never been more terrified in my entire life before.”

“Alexander,” whispered Magnus. “I’m terrified as well,” he confessed. “Of going to Edom, but yes… leaving you out of my hands’ reach is the most terrifying thing of them all,” he added and let out a muffled sob when Alec pulled him closer and crushed their lips together, Magnus returning him the kiss which was filled with desperation, fear, love and a promise of a better tomorrow.

“I love you,” whispered Alec once they pulled back and a sad smile spread across Magnus’ face as he nodded.

“I love you too, Angel,” said Magnus, looked down and once he looked back up Alec noticed that the other had dropped his glamour, putting his cat eyes on display for Alec, allowing him to take one last look at them, since he knew how much the other loved his real eyes.

“Are you trying to kill me?” asked Alec, with a mixture of playfulness and sadness, shaking his head and he kissed his boyfriend again. “Please be careful and safe,” he then whispered against the warlock’s lips, the other nodding.

“It’s a promise,” stammered Magnus. “And you too, be careful of Lilith. Don’t let her harm you in any way,” said Magnus and Alec nodded. After they shared one longer hug, Magnus came to the conclusion that he should really get going. Because of that, he stepped back and Alec’s stomach dropped as Magnus created another portal. Unlike before, Magnus took Alec’s hand into his own, linking their fingers together and pulled him behind him as he walked towards the portal. _Together._

“I should really get going now,” whispered Magnus and Alec nodded.

“I know,” said Alec, still holding onto Magnus’ hand. “I’ll be waiting for you, just like I promised. Please return back to me,” he then added again.

“I will,” said Magnus and forced a little smile, slowly letting go off Alec’s hand, slowly grazing each of his fingers as he slowly let go off of his hand and walked into the portal, with his back turned to it. He wanted to watch Alec’s face for as long as he could, Alec keeping a little smile on his face, waving to Magnus, the other giving him a little nod. “Love you,” muttered Magnus before he disappeared through the portal for good and when it closed, Alec stood there for a few moments, until the harsh realisation hit him that Magnus left and he fell onto his knees leaned forwards, formed fists with his hands and banged hard against the floor as he let out a loud scream of pain, which soon transformed into loud sobs.

Alec knew that he was needed at the Institute, but first, he needed some time for himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> Kudos and comments are well appreciated :)
> 
> Come follow me on [Tumblr](http://katychan666.tumblr.com/) if you'd like :)


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